Today was a roller coaster of emotions. Actually, it wasn't!
It started out like a normal day. Typical Monday. I got up to go to work. And was excited to hear back from my best friend via Email. He is very consistent with his emails. It usually comes at 10:30ish in the morning California time. However, I go to work at 9:30 now on Monday's and Tuesdays. I had to learn how to check my email from my phone so I could read what he says! His response is always beautiful. We got to talk on the phone yesterday, for his Mother's day call. His mom was nice enough to let me come. I LOVE his mom. I seriously admire her so much. I'm so grateful that she felt the need to have two more children in her 40's! Without her making that decision I wouldn't have my lovey. And without her and the women that she is, I wouldn't have Nathan the way he is. He was brought up so well. In an active family that taught him such amazing qualities and important things. He is so at ease and confident with everything, especially the gospel. Nathan is seriously my greatest example.
Things he mentions in his email brighten my day 99.9% of the time. Today was no exception. His email was short, quick, but sweet and heartfelt. He was short on time because he was rushing to send us, Us being Me, Julie who is his oldest sister, and His mom, Pictures. He sent so many pictures. That amazing boy! He is just so handsome. And his p-day clothes are clothes I got him. hehe. And he is wearing the CTR ring I bought him. His companion is a cutie too. I love Elder Foster. If that isn't obvious enough or anyone isn't aware.. I am in Love with him. I like that we think the same now about some things. We never did before. Who would have thought that being like 1,800 miles apart would bring us closer together. (According to google maps its 1,720 miles door to door) But Now we think the same. We hate the term "Waiting". Hate it. It makes me seem like I'm sitting on my butt for two years waiting for a boy to come save me. We agree on this. We are learning and growing.
Well at work today, I got pooped on. Can you say that you got Pooped on at work? Yeah, I didn't think so. I work at a Lorikeet (type of bird from Australia) exhibit at the local Zoo, for the month of May, just until I go to Disneyworld. But as SOON as I walked through the door to go in with the birds. BOOM! right on my shoulder. I seriously yelled at the birds. I was not happy, but its not that big of a deal. I've come to accept that they will poop on me. I enjoy working there. I get to interact with little kids a lot. There were 3 field trips to the Zoo today. I'm so happy around kids. I seriously am so looking forward to being a Mother and going on adventures with my kids. like to the ZOO! I could go on adventures with my family forever. I'm so excited about that!
I told my boss today about my Disneyworld internship and that I would be leaving in a month. June 5 to be exact. It went really well actually. She was super nice about it even though I just started there. I love this job.
I got picked up from work. I work with my brother but he only works half days so he takes the car and picks me up. I went home and looked at more pictures from my lovely missionary Friend. I finished up my lesson for Family Home Evening at my singles ward. I was very excited to teach so I printed off some last things and went to FHE.
i got there early and put some extra finishing touches on the lesson and waiting for FHE to start. My ward can NOT start on time for anything so we started at like 7:30..ish. We sang and guess what. Its my turn. I got in front of everyone. and got my papers all ready to give the lesson. I have terrible stage fright. I don't like teaching. I don't like public speaking, but I've felt like I needed to teach this lesson for about two weeks. That is why I volunteered to do it. I felt like I needed to give this lesson.
Long story short. I guess I couldn't, I tried and passed things out and we read a scripture but everyone was TALKING and couldn't follow SIMPLE instructions. I was trying to start my lesson and everyone kept asking questions about the pieces of paper they were given. I put a LOT of prep work and thought into the lesson. No one was listening. So I started to hold back tears because all my effort was pointless. I told one of my friends to stop talking and I stood up there awkwardly and just WATCHED everyone talk. It was so rude and It was driving me crazy. I couldn't even say anything, No one would listen. I was holding back tears and really wanted to walk away but I couldn't, that wouldn't be okay just to talk away in the middle of a lesson... One more person said something and I did the unthinkable. I left EVERYTHING there and walked away and went straight to the bathroom, lights off and locked myself in a bathroom stall and Bawled my freaking eyes out. No, not just cried, I bawled. To the point I couldn't breathe. I wanted to be held. I wanted Nathan. I never missed him more, I wanted him just to hold me close like he used to and help me. One of my best friend's Alicia came in and checked on me. She Stood on the toilet and looked over the stall to watch me and try to comfort me, and remind me to breathe!
My Bishop sent a girl in the bathroom to try to get me to come out. Let's say it didn't work. I stayed in the bathroom, I'm not a very pretty crier. Some girls look fine when they cry, some can just have random tears fall and still look beautiful, let's just say that is not me. When I cry... I CRY. My eyes puff up and get red. Eventually everyone left me alone, and I heard the activity had started when means everyone had left the institute building to go outside. So, I slowly left the bathroom. My Bishop was in the hall and asked me if I was okay and offered me a hug. I went and sat with the bishop and his wife and Alicia in the foyer of the institute building and watched people participate in the activity. We played a live game of Clue. I was supposed to be one of the characters but Alicia took my role since I obviously wasn't going to do it. I slowly talked to more and more people. It was awkward since I seriously walked out of my lesson. I got some hugs and people came to check on if I was okay. I assured everyone that I was fine. Basically I lied. I went up to my friend Todd, I call him Toddle I went up to him and got a hug and the first thing I said was "Can I go to Texas?" He knew what I meant. I wanted Nate to fix everything for me, but obviously that couldn't happen. So I settled for playing something Nate taught me on the Piano. The Piano makes me feel so close to him. Which reminds me I should listen to the song he wrote for me :) Yes he wrote me a SONG. Just mine. He gave it to me for Christmas. He wrote it starting in September and wrote a lot of it while we were broken up for October. He showed it to me on October 30th the first day we saw each other again. I cried. He is amazing.
Since I couldn't teach my lesson at FHE I will teach it here.
The Worth of A Soul
Doctrine and Covenants 18:10: Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.
Each Child of Heavenly Father is of Great Worth!
We are all unique and each have our own strengths and weaknesses.
We all Look, Sound and Act different. We are all important in the sight of God. He has given us a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses.
Jeremiah 1:5
Before I formed thee in the Belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I Sancitfied thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
Our Father in heaven KNOWS us, he knows us completely better than anyone else. He knows what is in our hearts and our unique characteristics. He can tell us apart from another just by.. Everything that we are. He knows us better than anyone here on earth. He knows us so much better than our earthly parents. Think about your earthly Father, or Father figure, I assume he knows you pretty well. I know my dad knows me really well. He can predict my reactions to things. That is something I love about my dad. He knows and cares for me enough to predict my actions! Just think about that in comparison to our Heavenly Father, with all his knowledge knowing everything about us. He knows what we will decide and what we will do before we even do it. He can comfort us in our time of need and knows that each of our needs are unique and he is able to help all of us.
He gives us all gifts like it says in D&C 46:10-13
10 And again, verily I say unto you, I would that ye should always remember, and always retain in your minds what those gifts are, that are given unto the church.
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.
We are all given gifts to develop and grow individually.
But we are all also given Weaknesses. Ether 12:27
27And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Our strengths and weaknesses help us grow and are unique to each of us.
President Hinckley said in 1972
"The work of the world is not done by intellectual geniuses. It is done by men [and women] of ordinary capacity who use their abilities in an extraordinary manner".
Elder Marvin J. Ashton (quorum of the 12) said in 1973
"As Children of God we are somebody. He will build us, mold us, and magnify us if we will but hold our heads up, our arms out, and walk with him. What a great blessing to be created in his image and know of our true potential in and through him!"
I know I am unique for a reason, I know that my individuality helps me grow uniquely in his eternal plan. His plan is perfect and making each of us unique is just part of that plan. He knows you and cares for you and wants you to do your best, learn from both your strengths and weaknesses, make your weaknesses into strengths and return to him.
